The Real Ending
by BNVshark
Summary: This is a humorus alternate ending that I had to do for a English Project.This may surprise you.


Fahrenhiet 451: The True Ending

_This starts on page 158 when Montag cries "_Look!"

"Look!" cried Montag.

Suddenly one million monkeys surrounded the group. They were surrounded like peas in a pod. There was a fierce wind that blew by; it could only mean one thing, the Mechanical Hound.

"Hello, Montag." He heard the Mechanical Hound say as he walked into the light.

"You can talk?" Montag said, shocked.

"Yes," its evil British accent replied, "You killed Beatty and Generic Mechanical Hound #570, he was my father."

"Run!" Granger yelled.

"I won't let you go, monkeys attack!" He commanded.

All of a sudden all of the monkeys jumped on the group.

"No," Montag heard someone yell. "I just had bananas for lunch!"

He suddenly felt someone tug his arm. "Let go!" Montag cried. He tried and tried but it was like trying to escape from a crocodiles jaws. "No," he screamed as he felt himself

Being pushed out.

He opened his eyes to see Granger. "What happened?"

"Montag, Montag, let's go, the monkeys have everyone else, let's go!" Granger yelled.

"Okay." they ran into the forest hearing several screams for mercy along with the screaming noises of the monkeys.

***

They soon arrived in a small campsite. Montag looked around, he could see a few badly dressed people. He could see an anti-Edith Wharton poster posted on a tent as well as a one trillion dollar reward for her capture.

"Come I want to take you to the leader. She is a wonderful person. I heard that she married some big, book burning loser back in the city but drove off when her house was being burned." Granger said.

"What!?" Montag exclaimed. "Is it Millie? Where is she?"

"Ha, ha" Granger said. "Millie was only her code name let me take you to her.

He took Montag to a small dark tent in the southern corner of the campsite.

"Prepare to meet Agent Mildred Yellow!" he opened the tent to show a short woman who had a blue wig, and a big red nose.

"Is that, Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer?" Montag asked.

"Well," The women began to say. "My name is really Corn, and I am a women, not a man."

"Then why do they tell kids that Rudolf was a guy?" Montag asked.

"Because, it seemed like a funny idea to the writer of this story." She answered.

"So, what now?" Montag said.

"Let's party!" She said as she turned on a radio to play the song _This is Why I'm Hot_

"I don't like this song can you change it?" Montag asked.

"No," She replied.

"But I hate this stupid song!" He said, beginning to get angry.

"Well this song hates you too!" She said.

He began to shake violently as green spots began to appear on his body, "Me, no like this song!" His voice began to get much deeper as his eyes began to turn green.

"Well too bad, because I like it, if you don't want to listen to it then too bad for you!" She stuck her toungue out.

"Don't get me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!" Montag yelled, his skin had become dark green and he became even bigger and bulkier every second.

"You should listen to him," Granger said. "I don't want to see him get angry."

"No, he's stupid!" She said.

Suddenly Montag picked up both Corn and Granger and threw them with such force that they landed in Antarctica, and both began a very successful fishing business, but were ultimately devoured by Pelicans.

"I, still angry!" Montag yelled as he crushed the radio that the music was coming from.

"I'm back." He heard someone with an evil British accent yell from the entrance of the tent.

"You," Montag yelled as he turned around to see the Mechanical Hound.

"You," The Mechanical Hound said back.

"You,"

"You,"

"Your mom," Montag yelled.

The Mechanical Hound gasped, and began to cry. "I hate you" he ran toward Montag.

"It's on," he yelled as he ran toward the beast and held it in a headlock.

"No, let go!" The Mechanical Hound yelled.

"I win," Montag yelled as he ripped off its head.

"I never forget you," The Hound yelled,

"_Beginning dump of physical memory."_ A robotic voice inside its head said.

"No," He saw someone run towards him.

"Beatty," Montag said as he looked at him.

"No," He said as he began to unzip a zipper on his back.

The figure that came out of the Beatty costume was a dark skinned man with snow white hair that was like the moon in the pitch black sky.

"I'm Morgan Freeman," He said.

"Wow, I've never even heard of you!" Montag yelled, happily.

"Good," he said. "Because I'm not Morgan Freeman" He began to unzip another zipper on his back.

Once the Morgan Freeman costume had fallen to the ground he saw a young, familiar figure.

"Clarisse," he yelled.

"In the flesh." She replied. "Do you want to learn some useless trivia?"

"No… no…no…no…no…no…no…no" he rudely said.

"Okay," she said, "Do you want to read all the books that you want?"

"Yeah, I want to read Barney, and Elmo, and Clifford books too!" He smiled.

"Okay then," She said. "We must go to Jurassic Park where the other book readers live happily. But the path is dangerous!"

"Why," Montag asked.

"Well, first we have to make it through The Three Trials of Doom!"

"What are The Three Trials of Doom?" He said.

"The Three Trials of Doom are things that the evil Edith Wharton made in order to torture people. They say that after she tortures them she would drain their brains and use them to make… Her world famous Blueberry Pie."

"Ah," Montag screamed. "I'm scared, but what are the three trials of which you speak?"

"Well," She started to say, "The first one is a recording of a Hannah Montana concert that you have to listen to."

"That's scary," Montag began to shake.

"If you passed the first one then the second one is easy. You have to watch the entire series of King of the Hill and laugh at all of their jokes."

"_All_ of them, but I can't, that show isn't even funny."

"Yes that's right, _all_ of them!"

"And what is the third Trial of Doom?" He asked.

"The third and final trial is to… read Edith Wharton's worst book, Ethan Frome!"

"No, I can't do it," He said as he huddled into a corner of the room in the fetal position."

"Yes you can." She said.

"Okay," he simply said as he got back up.

"Let's go," Clarisse yelled as she ran out of the room.

*****

They had made it to the large, dark, ominous, looking castle that was surrounded by dark, dead trees.

"We have to go, come on." she pushed him inside.

The room was dark. One of the walls had a sign that said, "Please press this button to go through the Three Trials of Doom."

"Okay," Clarisse yelled as she pushed it.

"No," Montag yelled just before a terrible song began to play.

Suddenly a terrible rasping voice filled the room.

"The sound," Montag yelled "It burns,"

"Oh it's not that bad. The song is trying to teach little kids between ages five and twelve that everybody makes mistakes." Clasisse said, shaking her head to the beat of the song.

"I hate this song! I can't take it any more!" He yelled, pulling a flamethrower out of his pocket and burning the room down.

Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Crack. Cinder. Everybody. Makes. Mistakes. Has. Been. Burned. To. The. Ground. Quiet.

"We're free!" Montag yelled as he jumped up and down.

"Good let's go!" She said, pushing Montag into the next room.

The next room had four large TVs that covered all of the walls in the room.

"We can watch TV!" Clarisse yelled as she sat on the ground and began to eat popcorn.

"Where did you find that?" Montag asked.

"The garbage," She answered. "When you burned down the last room I used the leftover fire to pop the popcorn."

"Let's just go through the next trial" he said, turning on the TV.

"Now back to, King of the Hill!" the TV stated.

The scene showed four people with their backs against a wooden fence."

"Yup," On man said.

"Cool," The other man said back.

"Awesome," The third man said.

"I'm cool," The last man stated, as he sipped his drink.

"Oh this show is hilarious!" Clarisse yelled.

"Yeah… it's…. funny." Montag lied.

(Several hours later)

"Thank you for watching our show," The TV turned black. "This DVD will go on auto-repeat in 5…4…3…2…1"

"Clarisse, let's go!" Montag tried to push her, but she did not move.

The DVD started to play again as Clarisse still sat watching the show.

"Yup," On man said.

"Cool," The other man said back.

"Awesome," The third man said.

"I'm cool," The last man stated, as he sipped his drink.

"No," Montag yelled. "I have to watch it _again_?"

(Several hours later)

"Glad that's over!" Montag scratched his head, "Let's go"

"But I want to stay!" Clarisse whined.

"Thank you for watching our show," The TV turned black. "This DVD will go on auto-repeat in 5…4…"

"No let's go now!" He pushed her out of the room as the show began to repeat itself again.

The next room had a small table, hanging from the ceiling of the room was a single light bulb. On the table was a book that was titled Ethan Frome.

"Oh, boy I love books" Montag yelled as he ran to the table and began to read. "This book is terrible!" he yelled.

"Read it!" Clarisse commanded.

"Okay" he said as he picked it back up.

(Several painstaking hours later)

"I'm done!" he said as he closed the book.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha" Clarisse yelled.

"What," Montag said.

"I have tricked you!" She yelled.

"What, how?" He asked.

"I am Edith Wharton" She said as she unzipped a zipper on her back, an evil destructive being came out of the suit. "Monkeys attack!" She commanded as twenty four monkeys dropped from the ceiling.

"Oh no, I can't do anything." Montag yelled "I am still weak from The Three Trials of Doom!"

"The Three Trials of Doom were made to weaken your brain. Now I can drain it and use your brain to make Blueberry Pie!"

"Oh, really?" He said. "I love pie! When you are done can you save some of it for me?"

"Sure," She said.

The End

(Please note: This is the true ending to Fahrenheit 451.)


End file.
